We all have anxieties and difficulties during our everyday lives. And it’s understandable that It is not easy to feel happiness and joy all the time. But here I have an even more challenging question for you. Can an unhappy person be truly happy for someone else? Can we experience positive emotions for our dear ones when we are not satisfied with our own lives?
And the answer is… probably not. But we can try. It is difficult to feel happy for others when they have something that we don’t. It is hard to celebrate your colleague’s promotion when you failed to take this position. It is uneasy to cheer for somebody’s wedding when you are unlucky in your personal life. When your friends or relatives succeed in something and your own life goes downhill, we start feeling uncomfortable, sad, even jealous.
The first thing to do is to tell yourself that this is normal! It is fine to feel some negativeness. Become aware of those feelings and try to analyze why they appeared. And then ask yourself – what can I do to improve my situation?
And if you truly want to try and cheer for the happiness of others, do the following two things:
1. Pretend to be happy.
Try to smile and to feel the positive emotions of the other person. The forced state of “happiness” will trick your brain and may actually improve your mood.
2. Practice mindfulness.
Try to be present in the moment and appreciate it. Use all your 5 senses. If you are at the promotion party of your friend, try to savor the delicious food that there is, smell the aroma of flowers or perfumes around you, hear the music or the voices of people nearby, study the design of the room, feel the texture of the sofa you are sitting on and so on. In this way you will switch your attention to something else and will enjoy the actual moment.
Another tool that can help you improve your mood, is to star writing down all the good things that happen to you during the day. An amazing way to do that is to have a gratitude journal. Check here my video tutorial on how to make a gratitude journal yourself.